Tag Archives: stop smoking support

Will the Cycle Be Broken

…be unbroken…

Oh how I pray it will be broken!

To understand my meaning, you need to know a little about me. Who I am, where I am, why I am here.

I’m a 50-something grandmother who finally found a way to overcome this addiction a year and 8 weeks ago.

Growing up, it wasn’t a question of if you would start smoking, but when. The same was true for my mom. I have a picture of her when she was maybe 15 or 16 eating an apple and smoking a sickarette.

She smoked when she was pregnant with me. So when I took my first puff of a sickarette, even though it didn’t taste good and I had to make my body accept the smoke into my lungs…it felt like home.

It had been part of my experience before I ever had a choice in what kinds of things I wanted to experience. My mom smoked around us kids all the time we were growing up, as did our dad and step dad and just about every “cool” person in our world.

Woman SittingMom died when I was 10-ish. She’d been in the hospital for 3 and a half years, and weighed in at about 82 lbs when the cancer finally ended her suffering and claimed her life…

I grew up in foster homes a very confused and emotionally devastated person. Eventually I had kids of my own, and like my mother I smoked while I was pregnant and I smoked around my kids.

Like her, I also became a single mom and, like her, I allowed people to smoke around my kids as a matter of course.

Today I’m in Texas. I’m here because my middle daughter has given birth to my 4th grandbaby. She’s a beautiful and, thankfully, healthy little girl – and she’ll probably smoke when she grows up. My daughter, like her mother, and her mother before her, smoked while she was pregnant.

I prayed so hard when we found out that she was pregnant that our daughter would emulate her big sister. At least my eldest found a way to quit while pregnant, even though she started smoking again after the baby was finished breast feeding. And she doesn’t allow anybody to smoke in the house or car, or in the presence of her children.

She keeps trying to quit… at least she knows it’s important to keep trying. But my middle daughter isn’t there yet. And I don’t know what to do to help her.

I showed both my middle and my youngest daughters the Barb Tarbox video – yes, it’s made a difference. The youngest, who is still single and not yet a mom, is quitting. She’s beginning Week 2 and is using the patch to give her the extra strength to ride out the craves. She’s doing well and I’m proud that she made this decision.

We had a lot of destructive cycles to end, a lot of “life lessons” to learn. I believe I’ve helped the girls learn enough to end the cycle of domestic abuse once and for all.

My mom got beat up a lot by her husbands. There’s no sense in that, and there isn’t a woman in the world who has to put up with that. I think the girls have learned that – their behavior says they have.

So how do I help them beat this addiction, and quit passing it along to the future generations in our family?


You Can Be Whatever You Want To Be

There is inside of you all of the potential to be whatever you want to be, all of the energy to do whatever you want to do.

Imagine yourself as you would like to be, doing what you want to do, and each day, take one step towards your dream.

And though at times it may seem too difficult to continue, hold on to your dream.

One morning you will awake to find that you are the person you dreamed of, doing what you wanted to do, simply because you had the courage to believe in your potential and to hold on to your dream.

~ Donna Levine ~

Quitting smoking is just like that. Just go with the flow, relax, and find the calm within the storm that is you.

Quit Smoking Meters

Some people like keeping track of quit smoking progress and there are a number of meters to assist with this endeavor.

One aid is QuitKeeper created by Dedicated Designs.

Quitkeeper has a nice sleek graphical user interface (GUI.)

It is very user friendly and quite intuitive for a computer novice.

Currently QuitKeeper is the Ciggyfree quit smoking meter of choice for Windows 98/Me/NT/2000/XP operating systems, and it is free!

The QuitKeeper Developer stated in an email to ciggyfree: “I am pleased that Quit Keeper is helping in yours and others quit. I had a lot of fun writing QK says Mark QK developer. And it gave me something to do once I had so much more time after quitting. Good luck with the website and the quit!”

View of QuitKeeper PageI have been quit for 5 Years, 6 Months, 4 Weeks, 13 hours, 33 minutes and 52 seconds (2,037 days). I have saved $12,225.39 by not smoking 40,751 cigarettes. I have saved 4 Months, 2 Weeks, 5 Days, 11 hours and 55 minutes of my life. My Quit Date: 02/04/2001 10:00 PM

If you need a meter for other operating systems, you can check the Ciggyfree Quit Smoking Meters Page.

Happy quitting!

There is no Freedom without Courage. I have been free for 2Y 8M 4W 12h 13m (1,001 days). I have saved $3,906.88 by not smoking 20,030 cigarettes. I have saved 4M 2W 4D 2h 20m of my life. I quit cold turkey on 2/1/2004 11:00 PM

Click to learn more about QuitKeeper 1.08 by Dedicated Designs

Don’t Miss The Mark!

Sometimes people just don’t get it.

They tend to think that they can continue on with life just as it is and not have to change anything about themselves.

They forget that life really is about change, and fail to witness the evidence as marked by the four seasons becoming their own worst enemy in the battle to quit smoking.

It’s easier to talk themselves into it. They fall into the trap they have set up for themselves.

They are their own enemy if they convince themselves that they just need:

    • One more puff
    • One more cigarette
    • One more pack
    • One more carton
    • One more week
    • One more month
    • One more year
    • One more decade

      They can continue hurting themselves for the rest of their natural lives and turn their time into something addictively insane during the interim.

      Picture of Word MarkThey mark their days as being an entirely productive experience while they suck on the other end of a toxic pesticide stick. And they do this every thirty to ninety minutes! Is this you? It was me 2.5 years ago.

      Hey Listen!

      Don’t miss the mark! Get off the butts and get busy with life. Only you can choose to be proactive, and live to breathe!

      Observe the four seasons closely:

      Spring is birth

      Summer is youth

      Fall touts middle age

      While Winter bleeds the elderly…

      Know your limitations.

      Everything in life is circular.

      What you do in your lifetime will eventually come back to bless or haunt you.

      Use your time on earth wisely.

      Don’t miss the mark!


      Retire From Gossip

      “Using the analogy of the human mind as a computer, gossip can be compared to a computer virus. A computer virus is a piece of computer language written in the same language all the other codes are written in, but with a harmful intent.”
      –Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements

      One of my pet peeves is gossip. For the sake of this article I am defining gossip as: “Any talk about another that is not coming from a place of love, is without the intention of good will, and has questionable accuracy and that you would not want the other to hear about”.

      If you are saying something about a person to another person that is not coming from an intention of love or good will, and or is an interpretation rather than “the truth” (most things are merely interpretations), which you would not say to that person directly, then you are gossiping.

      Gossiping FaceHave I ever gossiped? Yes. I doubt that any of us are entirely innocent of gossiping. Did I feel good about gossiping? No. Have I ever hurt another by gossiping? Yes, probably. Do I regret that? Yes, very much. Has someone gossiping about me ever hurt me? Yes.

      Gossip hurts. It causes pain for those who engage in it as well as those who are victims of it. We don’t feel good about ourselves when we talk in derogatory ways about others. When we do things that make us not feel good about ourselves, we harm our self-respect, self-love and self-confidence. People who have high levels of these qualities do not gossip.

      For the victim of gossip, the pain can be excruciating. A dear friend of mine was recently deeply wounded by gossip about her by her own family members. The things that were said were neither true nor coming from a place of love or goodwill toward her. Those that engaged in this gossip would not have wanted her to hear what they had said. She did hear and she is hurt.

      My friend’s pain is a poignant reminder to me of my own commitment to not engage in gossip in any way. I set this standard for myself some time ago. At times I have fallen short. I am re-committing to working harder on this within myself.

      Resisting gossip takes courage, effort, and awareness.

      Why courage?

      Lion PictureBecause we all want to feel like we belong, and in most groups, if we choose not to participate in gossip, we don’t feel like we belong. It’s much easier to be a part of gossip than it is to step away. Another reason it takes courage is that if we have an issue with another, the easy thing to do is to talk to third parties about it.

      It takes a lot more courage to speak directly to the person with whom you have the issue. (I want to add one caveat here. Sometimes it’s helpful to talk with a third person about an issue you have with another, but only if your intention is to seek help in resolving the problem.)

      Why effort? Because gossip is such a big part of our everyday lives. We hear it everywhere. From the tabloids and media that rely on gossip, to T.V. shows whose whole focus is on gossip, to the everyday people around us.

      Pay attention the next time you are at any type of gathering. Notice the conversations in which various people are engaged. Any time two or more people are engaging in conversation, there is a tendency to gossip.

      Why awareness? Because gossip is so easy to get pulled into and is actually a habit for some people. To stay out of gossip, you have to be aware of those around you as well as be aware of your inner self. You have to be willing to ask yourself hard questions and be brutally honest with your answers. You have to examine your intention before saying something about another. You have to take the time to think before you speak.

      Here are some questions you might ask yourself before saying something about another:

      1. Is what I’m about to say true? How do I know it’s true? Remember that each time a piece of gossip is passed on, the message is filtered through yet another person’s perception. I remember an exercise in college where we sat in a circle and person #1 told a story to person #2, then person #2 told the same story to person #3 and so on around the circle until it was told to the last person. That person then told the story to the whole group. The story we heard from the last person was nothing like the story person #1 told. What happened?

      When someone tells us something, it is filtered through our perception. Our perception is made up of our beliefs, values, experiences, knowledge, etc. Since everyone’s beliefs, values, experiences, knowledge, etc. are different, everyone’s perceptions are different. As the story progressed around the circle, it was filtered again and again through each person’s unique perception. The result was a story that was not the story originally told.

      2. What would be my intention in saying this? Is what I’m about to say coming from a place of love or fear? Love is good will toward others, respect, caring, compassion, understanding, etc. Fear is jealousy, hate, anger, desire to feel superior to another, wanting someone to side with us, not wanting to speak directly to the person about the matter, wanting to belong.

      3. If the person I’m about to talk about should hear what I’ve said, could she or he be hurt? Remember the definition for gossip and if your answers fit that definition, don’t say it. Most of us would never intentionally hurt someone’s feelings. By retiring from gossiping, in most cases, we can insure that we don’t unintentionally hurt another. How would our world be different if we all retired from gossiping? How might our children behave differently if we adults put an end to gossiping?
      By Sharon Demarte

      At Ciggyfree we have one mission and that is to get you, the smoker off the smokes. We are here to help nurture you when you need nurturing, and to assist you with a wealth of information and inspiration to enhance your quitting experience. As a new person on the block we hope that you will feel welcome here.

      Our site does not participate in flaming or gossip, and we do sincerely embrace everyone who has a strong desire to quit and remain quit with open arms. We also try our hardest to assist those who think they can’t do it into realizing their full potential of, “yes you can do it!”

      Be True To Your Quit

      During the Early Days (daze) staying quit seems out of reach, like if only you could just have that one puff it would, could, should set you free!

      Think before you reach.

      One puff could equal one to two packs for the next five, ten, or twenty years, or perhaps a lifetime of smoking.

      You have the power.

      Picture of EyesWill you choose to deny or comply?

      What will your choice be?

      Will you choose to be chained to addiction or opt to be free?