I want a cigarette so bad.
Yesterday, we fought with tech support of our Internet service provider…for hours. They kept putting us on hold, handing us to different departments, saying one thing, then contradicting themselves. Seems the corporate behemoth would see fit to train their support personnel.
Now, today, the stress is catching up with me. I haven’t yearned for a cigarette like this in years. Years!
My wife and I quit smoking 8 or 9 years ago. We kept track of the date for some time. After a while, it didn’t matter. What mattered was we actually did quit. For good.
We Quit for Good
Not one cigarette since. Not when we were stressed. Not with morning coffee. Not when inadvertently inhaling the allure and promise of second hand smoke. Not when a friend across the table lit up; not even when the friend gestured to help ourselves to the pack.
Our minds’, “One won’t matter. I quit once, I can do it again anytime I want” justification never did get the best of us.
Quitting smoking was the hardest thing I ever did.
Oh, I had quit before. Many times. Before I met Mari.
Most quitting lasted just long enough to reason with myself that I was young and I had plenty of time to quit. I really didn’t need to do it now. Why not enjoy myself? I could quit later!
I even quit for a month and a half, once.
That was broken one evening when I went to a bar and proceeded to get slightly drunk. A friend was with me. He smoked.
Like an everlasting fool, I asked him for a cigarette. He asked me if I was sure. “Sure I’m sure,” I said. “I’m no longer a smoker. I’ll prove to you I can smoke one cigarette and never smoke again.”
He said, “No, you can’t. If you really want a cigarette, I’ll give it to you. But I tell you now, you will become a smoker again.”
He was right.
This Time the Love was Real
Eleven years ago, I met my wife, Mari. There were times before when I thought I was in love. But this was real.
We both smoked.
One day, we talked about the future. The subject of health came up. We decided to quit so we could be together longer.
When I quit for myself, I always failed. The first time I quit for love, I succeeded. We both succeeded.
Will Bontrager is owner and operator of the free numerology readings web site, AffinityNumerology.com.