The Tie That Binds
If there is a chain to be broken, then there must be links or ties that hold that chain together.
My last two days in Texas with my daughter, I had a startling revelation. It’ll seem so simple to you, as you sit here and read it.
But it was a “No DUH!” moment for me and I don’t mind showing how blind a person can be when they’re emotionally invested in helping somebody quit.
I had taken each of my daughters individually to my hotel during my visit and showed them a video in hopes to get them to see what smoking can and will do to their lives.
I then showed them a pic of Barb in the last few days of her life, and encouraged them to read more by searching the internet for information on her widower and daughter.
My youngest quit immediately, and has been smoke-free for three weeks now. My middle girl, who just gave birth to another daughter, told us something exciting two nights before I flew home. She said she’s going to quit — she wants to quit — and here’s the part that opened my eyes…she ended with “…but I’m scared!”
I told you it wouldn’t sound like much. But to me, it was a real wake up call. I smoked for thirty years. Twenty-five of those years or more, I wanted to quit…but I was scared to.
Well, if I’d been scared enough to continue smoking for a quarter of a century, what makes me think anybody else would be any different? LOL!
I realized that what I’d been trying to do was use logic. That’s okay for an unaddicted mind-set. But it isn’t much of a weapon against fear. Fear is such a debilitating emotion.
It causes people to accept abuse in a relationship, even if it kills them, because they’re afraid to try breaking away. It causes people all kinds of grief and miscommunication. And it causes junkie-thinking to be more powerful than logic.
I personify my addiction by giving it the character of “Nicodemon”, not because I think there’s an actual demon inside me but because the addicted mind is so extremely insidious. The best example of that is how the addicted mind, or Nicodemon, uses fear to enslave us.
Now, here’s the neat thing. My middle daughter revealed how she was afraid to quit, and both my youngest daughter and I piped in with “Oh I know, I was too! But it really isn’t as bad as you fear it will be!”
We were so excited to relay that to her, and we babbled on like junior high kids, talking about how we’d braced ourselves for this horrible pain and long term suffering…only to find that we’ve collectively experienced only about forty-five minutes of “hard craving” in all this time.
That’s with me quit for 1 year and 8 weeks, and her quit for 3 weeks…45 minutes of difficult is nothing compared to dying at the age of 41 and leaving your loved ones behind!
The stark reality of the consequences of smoking have got to be more clear and much more persistent than your fear of walking away from smoking. Talk to people who have quit, especially serial quitters, and they will tell you — each quit is different.
Almost every single Quit Keeper I’ve ever talked with state that they have had at least one easy quit, and it was usually one of the first ones. My first quit is my forever quit. I won’t go back. I was blessed with a very, very kind quit, and so was my daughter.
We both know how lucky we are, not only to have had an easy time of it, but simply to have found a way to overcome our fear of trying. If you’re reading this and you have not gotten to that point yet — please, do some research. You’ll learn the same things I did – it isn’t as bad as you think it will be.
Your addicted mind is keeping you enslaved. Fear is the tie that binds most people to their addiction. Those who face their fears usually find that the horrors they feared were so far removed from the reality as to be embarrassing.
How can I have been so afraid of this to have continued to smoke for a quarter century when I really really didn’t want to!?!
Take your life back now, and stare down your fears. Untie those fears that bind you to your addiction. Believe me, it is worth it to be free.
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