Daily ArchiveTuesday, September 26th, 2006
ZZYZX 26 Sep 2006 08:19 pm
On Being Bugged
Under the best of circumstances, I am a person who can be easily annoyed. I usually get over it pretty fast, as long as the source is removed. And I don’t usually let things get beyond a curse word or two, unless I am really incensed.
I am getting into a phase where this addiction thing is really starting to make me a little peeved. I mean, after all, it has been well over six months, and I still get some pretty strong urges to smoke. I sometimes consider just going right into a snit about it.
Unlike some things that annoy me, I try hard not to let this get to me. I think I need to be more patient, even though it is hard to do. After all, I spent so long a time smoking that it has probably been imprinted in my DNA. I shouldn’t expect to get over it so quick. It’s normal. It’s OK.
The way in which I am now assaulted by urges and cravings is a lot different than before. I don’t get so locked up with wanting to smoke that I can’t function. I am very much capable of resisting smoking at this point. I do have to maintain a one-day-at-a-time attitude, and remain vigilant against giving up on myself. But the challenge is certainly within my capabilities to meet.
I still get annoyed, though, because I feel like I have passed the test, and proven myself, but the testing still goes on. So I resent it. I just want the desire to smoke to go away. I am impatient, and that makes me irritable. However, I ‘ll take annoyed over smoking any time.
Zzxyx
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