Ciggyfree Blog & Gov Alert

I have this strange feeling today. I don’t know what it is. I don’t remember feeling like this before, though it’s not unusual for me to forget things. I am going to see if I can examine the feeling, and figure out what it is.

I can start by saying what I do know. It’s not anger, or depression, I know those feelings in all their forms. And I would not classify it as any of the good feelings, like happiness, or contentment. It’s not anything familiar.

One thing about it is, nothing is funny to me. I have no sense of humor right now. I can’t laugh at myself. That’s not a good sign. Another thing about it is that the things that I have been feeling so good about lately, are just so bland now. On the other hand, I don’t feel bad about anything. I feel neutral.

I do feel antisocial. But that’s not ever very far from the normal for me. I dread the weekly chore of going to the grocery store. I know people will pull out in front of me on the way, they will drive slow, walk slow, get in my way, and bother me on the way back. By the time I get home i just might be angry. Maybe that will help me break up this weird feeling.

I guess the best way to describe it is that I feel like I don’t feel. If that makes sense. Nothing is good, nothing is bad, noting is funny, nothing is sad. Bland, the whole world is without flavor.

It could be like combat fatigue, maybe I am getting tired of the fight. Maybe its a transition from being on a nice roll to going through a rough spot. Maybe I am just out of my mind.

I am in unexplored territory here. I haven’t any landmarks, or distance markers to navigate by. So i have to guess at what to do, because it is certainly an uncomfortable feeling. So I will stick to familiar routines today, and try not to think much anymore. I have fantasy football work to do, which I used to enjoy.

The only sure plan I have right now is â€“ just don’t smoke.

ZZYZX